“I thought I was broken”
10-08-25
“I Thought I Was Broken”: The Grief and Relief of a Late ADHD Diagnosis in Women
For many women, getting diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood feels like both an earthquake and a relief.
Because for years (maybe decades) you weren’t just struggling. You were silently blaming yourself for it.
Why can’t I keep up like everyone else?
Why do the little things feel so overwhelming?
Why do I always have to try as hard just to appear “normal”? ~ whatever that means!
If that’s your story…you’re not alone. And you were never broken.
Why Women with ADHD Get Missed
So many women spend their entire lives masking their ADHD symptoms. We learn early to be “nice,” to be helpful, to stay quiet, to keep it together. The result? We become experts at overcompensating.
High grades. Gold stars. Perfectionism. People pleasing.
But behind that polished exterior is often:
Executive dysfunction that makes basic tasks feel paralyzing
Constant guilt for forgetting, zoning out, or procrastinating
Emotional overwhelm, especially when things don’t go as planned
A lifelong fear of being “too much” or “not enough”
And the worst part? You probably thought it was all your fault.
The Diagnosis Isn’t the End…it’s the Beginning!
A late in life ADHD diagnosis doesn’t erase the years you spent confused, exhausted, or hard on yourself. But it does offer you something powerful: context.
It gives you a why for all the things that never quite made sense. It opens the door for self compassion. It allows you to grieve what you didn’t know and start to healing from it.
Therapy can be the place where that healing really begins.
You Deserve to Love the Version of You That Was Always There
In therapy, we don’t try to “fix” who you are! We peel back the layers of shame and perfectionism that you never should have had to carry. We explore what your life could look like when you stop hustling to meet everyone else’s expectations…and start honoring your own needs.
We work on:
Letting go of unrealistic standards and old stories about who you’re supposed to be
Creating ADHD-friendly systems that support your energy, not drain it
Processing the grief of being misunderstood for so long
Learning how to advocate for yourself with compassion and clarity
Rebuilding your self worth on your own terms
Because you were never broken. You were just doing your best with zero support for how your brain actually works.
I help late diagnosed women in California and Nevada make sense of their ADHD and finally start living like they are on their own team. If you’re ready to stop blaming yourself and start healing, I’d love to help. Schedule a free 15-minute intro call at the link in my bio or on my website.
