ADHD & Routines
ADHD and Routines
Let’s talk about ADHD and routines, a relationship status that’s often best described as “it’s complicated.” You’ve probably heard a thousand times how important routines are for those of us living with ADHD. Morning routines, evening routines, self care routines, meal prep routines. The world loves routines. They’re often sold as the ultimate solution for productivity, organization, and success. And if you’re living with ADHD, maybe you’ve tried to buy into that idea. You’ve downloaded the perfect planner, created a Pinterest worthy schedule, and maybe even felt that initial spark of hope that this time you’ve got it figured out.
And then…life happens. You oversleep one day, or your brain rebels against the monotony, or the routine that worked last week suddenly feels unbearable. And before you know it, that beautiful system is gathering dust, and you’re right back to feeling like something might be wrong with you because you can’t stick with it.
But here’s the truth: nothing is wrong with you. Your brain just works differently. ADHD brains are wired for novelty, interest, and stimulation. Rigid, repetitive routines can feel suffocating because they don’t provide the flexibility or dopamine your brain craves. And that’s okay! The problem isn’t you, it’s the way routines have been sold to you in the past.
Traditional routines are often built for neurotypical brains that thrive on predictability and structure. But ADHD brains need something different. We need room for spontaneity, variety, and even a little chaos. Think of your routines like a jazz song, not a classical symphony. There’s a structure but there’s also improvisation, creativity, and room to play.
Maybe that looks like having a few different ways to start your morning, depending on how you’re feeling. Maybe your routine includes permission to skip steps or rearrange things when needed. Maybe it’s about anchoring your day with just one consistent thing like making your ben or stepping outside for fresh air and letting the rest flow from there, when available.
Routines don’t have to be all or nothing. They don’t have to be perfect. They don’t have to look like anyone else’s routine. In fact, the most supportive routines for ADHDers often don’t look like routines at all. They feel more like rhythms with gentle, flexible patterns that support you without boxing you in and feeling trapped.
And here’s something else: if routines feel hard, it doesn’t mean that you are failing. It means you are human living with a brain that operates on it’s own beautiful wavelength. Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t even the routine itself, it’s the shame and self criticism that piles on when you feel like you can’t get it together. That internal voice saying, “Everyone else can do this, why can’t I?’ That voice can make even the smallest tasks feel like mountains.
This is where therapy can make a world of difference. Together, we can unpack that shame and rewrite the story you’ve been told about what routines “should” look like in your past. We can explore what actually works for you not what some influencer or productivity guru says you should be doing with your life. Therapy can be a space to build self compassion, to experiment without judgment, and to create routines (or anti-routines) that feel like they fit your life.
If you’re tired of feeling like you’re failing at the systems that are supposed to make life easier, I get it. And you don’t have to figure it out alone. Reach out if you’re ready to create supportive rhythms that work with your ADHD brain, and not against it! Let’s build something that feels good, doable, and all yours.
