The Hidden Struggle
09/10/25
The Hidden Struggle: ADHD in High Achieving Women
When you picture ADHD, you might imagine a distracted young boy bouncing around a classroom… not a high achieving woman with degrees, a demanding career, and a color coded planner. But for many women, especially those who have always looked like they had it all together, ADHD can fly under the radar for decades.
As a therapist who specializes in ADHD in women, I’ve seen this story unfold again and again: bright, capable women who built their lives on perfection, overcompensating, and pushing through burnout, until they couldn’t anymore.
Why High-Achieving Women Get Missed
ADHD in women doesn’t always look like forgetfulness or hyperactivity.
It often shows up as:
Constant internal restlessness
Overcompensating and people pleasing
Emotional overwhelm and sensitivity to criticism
Chronic procrastination followed by intense bursts of hyperfocus.
Shame about “not living up to potential”
Many women learned early on you mask these struggles. We become perfectionists, caretakers, or the “responsible one.” Their success became a coping mechanism. And because they’re succeeding (on the surface), no one thinks to ask what it’s costing them.
What Diagnosis Can Unlock
A late in life ADHD diagnosis can me life altering. Not because it explains everything…
It can finally put the puzzle pieces together.
It gives language to the exhaustion you feel from trying so hard.
It offers validation to the exhaustion you feel from trying so hard.
It offers confirmation that you’re not lazy, flaky, or “too sensitive.”
And it opens the door to a new kind of self understanding. One rooted in compassion, not self criticism.
You’re Not Alone! You Don’t Have to Keep Struggling in Silence!
If this feels familiar, you’re not imagining things and you are not alone. Many high achieving women are only now beginning to unmask their ADHD and understand how deeply it’s shaped their lives.
Therapy can help you explore what ADHD means for you, unravel perfectionism, build systems that actually work for your brain, and start living in alignment with your values, not your fear of failure.
You don’t have to “hold it all together” anymore. You deserve support.
Curious if ADHD might be a part of your story? I offer therapy for women in California and Nevada navigating ADHD, burnout, self worth, and the pressure to always be “on.” Schedule a free 15-minute intro call at the link in my bio or on my website.
